THE CONCEPT AND BIRTH OF THE BATANG NASH HASH
By Coconut Kernel

Prolonged exposure to the midday sun on the head is believed to cause delusions.   On brains, which are already socked in alcohol, it is said that the effect could be fatal or if one survives, it could spark a flash of brilliance. On the Sunday aftermath of the PJ Animale Batangwealth Games of 1995, Grandmasters of participating Batang chapters gathered in the middle of the Kajang Stadium to deliberate on the future of hash batanghood. The sun was at its highest glory. It did cook some alcohol-soaked brains, but there were no fatalities. So there must have been that flash of brilliance, which gave birth to the Batang Nash Hash.

A batang celebration run is traditionally FOC and any batang chapters attempting to collect fees are normally shun by the diehards. So chapters, especially those which had small memberships, found it difficult to raise funds and thus host celebration runs. Even the bigger chapters found it to be no mean task. Invariably, individual chapters were stretching the years between celebrations. Despite the founding of many new batang chapters, genuine batang celebrations were getting less frequent.   There was this concern that in the not too distant future, batang celebration runs would fizzle out. There was therefore a need, to enable the less endowed chapters, to host a batang gathering without having to mortgage soul, spirit and honour.   The objective therefore was to ensure the continuance of batang gatherings on a regular basis. A reasonable sum was to be collected from each participant and the event was to be on a Saturday, followed by the traditional Sunday affair for the neglected families.   There would be no handling over of excess funds to the next host, because there would be no excess. Hosts are not expected to financially profit from the Nash Hash. Fees collected are to help lighten the burden of hosting.

One-Sai-Pan, then GM of Ipoh got his brains cooked more than the others and he volunteered to host the 1st Batang Nash Hash, with blessing from the easily misled Ipoh Hastards.   It was held in Ipoh in 1997, memorable and supported by a few hundred batangs. On the Sunday after, at the Ipoh D.R. park, Tonkat Ali, then JM of Alor Setar was coerced/conned to host the 2nd Nash Hash in 1999. There were numerous on-the-spot registrations, with the first several being PJ Animales. At the end of the day, almost 100 registered.

What Alor Setar did in 1999 left the Batangs clamouring for more. The run on Saturday was in country. The Sunday affair was north across the border.   The effort culminated in Alor Setar being convinced to open its annual cross-border run in 2000, to other Batangs.   What happened would be subject to another write-up by this scribe. It was reported that the Kota Baru Batangs wanted to emulate AS, by doing a cross-border to the equally infamous Golok. But that never came about.

Tanjung Puteri joined with other Johor chapters to successfully host the 3rd Batang Nash Hash. This event had the innovation of the GM meeting first, in a nearby Indonesian island, a day ahead of the event. Those who went for this preamble, was not in worthy condition to give credit to the Saturday and Sunday events.   Intending to outdo previous hosts, Shit Chan of Batang Kajang, after attaining Dutch courage from excessive alcohol consumption, successfully bid for the 4th Nash Hash. GM Freeloader was wild on hearing this, as he did not like more commitment than necessary. But Shit Chan said, “If you don’t want to do it, I will be the organising chairman.” Roping in the credible Raymond “SMC” as the event On-Sex, and after countless bottles of beers and many incoherent meetings, a great weekend could only be expected.

This is yet to be seen, but if Batang Kajang is to be measured by the performance of its last celebration run, one could expect the same, if not better.

The Batang Nash Hash has gone to the northern central region of Peninsular Malaysia (Ipoh), north to Alor Setar, south to Johor and now to the Klang Valley. Perhaps an east-coast-state chapter based in Kota Baru or Kuantan would take up the challenge to host the next one. It would be interesting to see what hashing is like in a politically controversial and religiously inclined state.   Perhaps, it is now timely for the Kota Baru Batangs to take this challenge and follow the cross border trail to Golok. that was dreamed of in the 2nd Nash Hash of 1999.

Other Nash Hashes or regional gatherings are mixed and this weekend’s participants should stand proud in the uniqueness of this Nash Hash.   Mixed Nash Hashes are plentiful worldwide, but this is the only one that is known to be for men only (at least in the region). Having no lack of participants for the past four Batang Nash Hashes, it can be assured that the Batang Nash Hash is here to stay!

On on to batangs and batanghood!

 

THE ALCOHOL- INSPIRED CONCEPTION OF BATANGHOOD REACHES ITS 25th YEAR ANNIVERSARY
By Coconut Kernel

1995-The Chicken of Batang Nash Hash Being Hatched in the Sun

Prolonged exposure to the midday sun is believed to cause delusions. On brains, which are already socked in alcohol, it is said that the effect could be fatal or if one survives, it could spark a flash of brilliance. On the Sunday aftermath of the PJ Animale Batang wealth Games of 1995, Grandmasters of participating Batang chapters gathered in the middle of the Kajang Stadium to deliberate on the future of hash batanghood. The sun was at its highest glory. It did cook some alcohol-soaked brains, but there were no fatalities. So there must have been that flash of brilliance, that gave birth to the Batang Nash Hash.

Ipoh’s “Wan-Sai-Pan” Got His Brains cooked And The 1st Batang Nash Hash Became A Reality In 1997

Wan-Sai-Pan, then GM of Ipoh got his brains cooked more than the others and he volunteered to host the 1st Batang Nash Hash, with blessing from the easily misled Ipoh Hastards. It was held in Ipoh in 1997, memorable and supported by a few hundred batangs. On the Sunday after, at the Ipoh D.R. Park, Tongkat Ali, then JM of Alor Setar was coerced to host the 2nd Nash Hash in 1999. On-the-spot registrations reached almost 100.

Alor Setar Crossed the Border for the 2nd Batang Nash Hash – 1999

What Alor Setar did in 1999 left the Batangs clamouring for more. The run on Saturday was in country, with the on-on across the border in raunchy Danok.

Tanjung Puteri Got the GMs “Screwed” on the Preamble to the 3rd – 2001

Tanjung Puteri joined with other Johor chapters to successfully host the 3rd Batang Nash Hash. This event had the innovation of the GM meeting first, in a nearby Indonesian island, a day ahead of the event, Those who went for this preamble, were not in worthy condition to give credit to the Saturday and Sunday events.

Shit Chan “Shit’ on Batang Kajang GM Freeloader to host the 4th – 2003

Intending to outdo previous hosts, Shit Chan of Batang Kajang, with Dutch courage from excessive alcohol intake, successfully bid for the 4th Nash Hash, GM Freeloader was wild on hearing this, as he did not like more commitment than necessary. But Shit Chan said, “If you don’t want to do it, I will be the organising chairman.” Roping in the credible Raymond “SMC” as the event On-Sex, and after countless bottles of beers and many incoherent meetings, a great weekend resulted.

Sg Petani Hazard Emulated Alor Setar’s Border crossing for the 5th in 2005

What does one expect when Batang hashers gather at Danak for a Hash weekend. Some running, lot’s of drinking, eating, revelry and boosting the incomes of unmentionables to say the least.

The Cycle Come Back to the Animales for the 6th – 2007

Then GM, Erick The Prick, was drunk at the GM’s meeting at the 5th Batang Nash Hash. When the question of who was to be the next host came about, someone poked his arm. He raised it and the Animales had to work for the next 2 years.

Funds were raised, The working committee worked hard at beer drinking at the organising meetings. Through the alcoholic haze and the incoherence of speech, the On-Sex managed to record some apparently sensible thoughts, which became the basis for decisions, culminating in a wild weekend at the Commonwealth Park.

The 7th Batang Nash Hash “Invaded” Betong In 2009

A record turnout of 600 batangs gave the sex industry in Betong a big boost to the delight of the local authorities, that Murugan was inspired to give birth to the 1st “InterBatang” in 2012.

In 2011, The Kelana Harimaus were Mauled by a Puny Brown Beer and the PJ Animales and Hazards picked up the pieces for the 8th

Despite the short notice, the 2 organising chapters, with excellent support from participating batangs, managed to keep the chain unbroken.

The Outspoken “Pigeon Leg” of Kampar Jaya was Humbled by the Bentong Ah Hiah for the Bid of The 9th in 2013

The series having been to Perak, Johor, Selangar and the border towns of Danok and Betong, it was an easy choice to select Pahang for the next venue. OC Johnny Wank and his boys put up a credible show at the famed and spectacular Bentong Camang Waterfalls.

The New Boy On The Block, Easily Won The Hearts of the Batangs For the 10th in 2015

Hardly three years after its maiden celebration run, the relatively young crowd of the Subang Wankers, under its then Grand Wanker, Kool Dogg, courageously and successfully bid for this event. The run site beside the Batu Dam, surrounded by hills should proof challenging for the fit and young batangs, and daunting for the incorrigible SCBs and old farts. Judging by its past celebration run, the weekend on 2nd May should not be less than expected.

The Eloquence and Stentorian Voice of “Pigeon Leg” Cowed Other Hopeful Bidders To Give Kampar Jaya a Well-deserved Chance at The 11th in 2017

This will be the 2nd time that the silver state, Perak has the opportunity to show off its golden colours on 17 & 18 June, 2017. The Titiwangsa backdrops the once sleepy town of Kampar, now awakened from its slumber by the location of the TAR University. Steep climbs signatures many Kampar Jaya runs. Hopefully, they would set a second run for the physically and mentally challenged.

Newbie Geopark Hash House Harriers got the 12th in 2019

Initially it was to be held in Langkawi, not only to enjoy the world-famous island paradise, but also the promise of duty-free beers. Due to change in custom policy, no beers could be purchased in the required quantity to satisfy the thirst of batang hashers. So Danok enjoyed a mini tourism boom.instead.

The Number 13 is Unlucky for Some, But Not for Batang Bulldog Which Promised to Bring The 13th BNH to The Paradise Island of Langkawi 12th & 13th of June, 2021

Where Geopark failed, will Batang Bulldog succeed in Langkawi? Almost immediately after obtaining the bid, its OC & GM Cameraman lost no time in informing and getting the national Batang Chapters for paraphernalia of past events, like t-shirts, write-ups, magazines. With the enthusiasm and effort shown by the Leader, this Writer is confident that it should be a success. In the past, except for Bentong Ah Hiah and Jantan Jerantut, no participants from the east coast states of Semenanjung, Sabah and Sarawak had ever registered. Perhaps the current host would make positive attempts to reach them, to make it a more meaningful Batang Nash Hash.